ALWAYS FAITHFUL Read online

  She reapplied a protective bandage on her scar and finished getting dressed, this time in a pair of loose sweats and t-shirt. Realizing she was starving, Nic went into the kitchen to make something to eat. She couldn’t cook worth a damn, but she wouldn’t starve. Taking the plastic off a “gourmet meal”, she saw the blinking light on her answering machine. Throwing the meal into the microwave, she pressed play on the machine.

  “Major, this is Sergeant Ross. We have a bit of a problem with Capt. Monroe’s remains. Could you please give me a call ASAP? Thank you ma’am.”

  “Shit, what does he mean a problem?” she asked the microwave as she watched the timer count down. Nic dialed Sergeant Ross.

  “Sergeant, you had better have good news for me since you left that message.”

  “I’m afraid not, Major Caldwell. It seems that there is a problem with Capt. Monroe’s remains.”

  “What problem?”

  “Well, it appears they’ve lost him. I have been calling all over Germany and no one seems to be able to tell me where he is. No one.”

  “Christ, this is a disaster. I will be right down. You haven’t called his wife yet, have you?” asked Nic as she tossed her gourmet meal in the trash. So much for dinner.

  “No ma’am. I didn’t think that was something that should come from me, ma’am. Besides, the Chaplain said you would be handling anything with Mrs. Monroe.”

  “Did he now? Give me about half an hour to get to the office. And Sergeant, if Mrs. Monroe calls, not that I think she will, but if she does, don’t say anything about this. Understand?”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “See you in thirty,” she said as she dropped the phone into the cradle and made her way to the bedroom.

  Holy shit, what the fuck happened? What am I going to tell Mrs. Monroe? She’s been through so much already. This is just going to send her over the edge. Christ! She couldn’t believe that the military could lose the remains of a service member when they had managed to ship over four thousand bodies home successfully.

  Thirty minutes later, Nic could feel the tension when she entered the small office. “Sergeant, what have you got for me, and don’t say “nothing” if you know what is good for you.”

  Nic could see the tension in the Sergeants face as he looked up at her and she already knew what the answer was. “I am sorry, ma’am, but Rheinmein says they never got the body in. They have checked their manifests three times and they swear that the body never arrived.”

  “Great. Get their Duty officer for the airfield on the phone and let’s track this down. Wait—” she wondered if the screw-up started there or back in Iraq. “First, get me the field hospital in Iraq, and then if they say they sent Capt. Monroe’s remains, we’ll talk to the airfield over there to make sure he even left Iraq.”

  After about a dozen phone calls, she was no closer to finding Mike than when she started. Christ, now I have to go to Mrs. Monroe’s and inform her of the screw-up. Excellent. Grabbing her hat Nic stood up to leave.

  “Sergeant, if I am not back in an hour you better send the Chaplain for me. He will probably have to deliver last rites, ’cause I’ll probably be dead or close to it when I inform Mrs. Monroe of our screw-up,” Nic said as she prepared herself for the coming explosion that was sure to happen once Mrs. Monroe got the bad news.

  ###

  Nic pulled up to Capt. Monroe’s quarters and noticed that there were several cars in the driveway and on the street. Great, now I have to do this with an audience. Nic knocked and as she had done before stepped down off the stoop and onto the sidewalk. Debbie Rouch, the neighbor who had come over the day before, answered the door, and this time it was clear she too had been crying.

  “Major, please won’t you come in? A few of the wives have come by to offer their condolences and support to Claire.” Walking into the quarters Debbie turned towards Nic and continued, “Can I get you something to drink, perhaps coffee or a soda?”

  “No thank you. Would it be possible to speak to Mrs. Monroe?” asked Nic as she advanced further into the house. She peered around the corner of the hallway and saw Claire sitting on the sofa surrounded by a few other wives. Claire had her daughter on her lap as she listened to the conversation swirling around her. Nic noticed her vacant look and was sure that Claire had mentally checked-out of the conversation. Clearing her throat, Nic entered the room full of women, not sure if she should ask everyone to leave or ask to speak to Claire alone. Well the sooner we get this over with the sooner I can get out of here, she thought as she slowly made eye contact with each of the women before settling on Claire. The look on Claire’s face broke Nic’s heart and knowing she was going to add more grief only made her feel worse.

  “Mrs. Monroe, would it be possible to speak with you in private?” Nic asked softly.

  “Major, is there something wrong?” Claire asked as she hugged her child closer. When Nic inclined her head but didn’t say anything, Claire told the group that she was going to put the child down for the night and rejoin them after speaking to Nic.

  “Please Major, if you will follow me we can talk while I put my daughter down for the night,” Claire said as she walked down the hall to her daughter’s room. When Nic entered the room, she was surprised to see model helicopters hanging from the ceiling. On the child’s bookshelves, small toy models of helicopters were interspersed with stuffed animals and dolls. There were family pictures of Grace with her parents in what one could only describe as the “perfect family”.

  Nic watched as Claire focused on getting her daughter ready for bed. She thought about how Mike would never be part of this process again. She suddenly thought about how much she wanted a family like Mike’s, a beautiful wife and child to come home to and how that all seemed so foreign to her since the accident. She watched as Claire dimmed the lights and took her daughter in her arms, settling into the rocker in the corner of the room. Crooning softly, Claire rocked back and forth, gently holding Grace. Nic felt like an interloper that had no business seeing such an intimate moment between mother and child and slowly made her way to the door. Just as she reached the door, she heard a soft whisper.

  “Major, please. She’s almost asleep. Just a minute more.”

  Humming softly Claire got up and placed the sleeping girl on her bed, covered her and gently rubbed her back to comfort her. Nic shifted from one foot to the other, still uncomfortable witnessing something so loving, and so intimate. Claire rose from the bed and quietly walked to the door, and as she did she slid her hand along Nic’s arm, moving her out of the room. A tingle slid along the path Claire’s hand had just traveled and unsettled the Major at once, Nic ignored the shiver that traveled up her spine as she tried to focus on the reason she was there.

  “I thought we could talk in here. It’s quiet and I’ll be able to hear Grace if she wakes up,” Claire said as she settled herself on the edge of the king size bed. “Please sit down, Major. I am sure whatever you have to tell me you can do sitting. Besides, you’re going to strain my neck if I constantly have to look up at you,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.

  Claire wasn’t sure why she was trying to make Nic feel more comfortable considering the events of the last two days but it felt right to try. Claire knew Nic, but only in a cursory way, through dinners and military functions that they both had to attend, one out of duty and one out of honor. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing that if Nic was here this late it could only mean more bad news.

  Looking down at her hands Nic said, “Mrs. Monroe…” she faltered and then cleared her throat. “I am sorry but it seems that your husband’s remains are missing.”

  When she didn’t get a response, Nic looked up and saw Claire staring at her. Nic waited a minute and then cleared her dry throat again.

  “I am so sorry. I have been on the phone calling all over Iraq and Germany to find out what happened and no one can tell me a thing. I have my sergeant working on it right now but I felt I should let you know so
that you can contact your families and give them the news. Without the remains, we can’t plan anything for the service and I am sure you have a lot of plans that need to be made. I mean, that is why I am here, to help you with those plans, but I just thought that you should know and….”

  Claire was still staring at her, only this time tears were streaming down her face as she began to sob silently. Not knowing what else to do, Nic slid closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder. Claire turned into Nic and buried her face into the major’s chest and began to weep heavily. Nic felt Claire grabbing her BDU top so tightly she wondered if Clare would rip it. Wrapping her other arm around Claire, Nic slowly stroked her back in an effort to comfort her.

  “Mrs. Monroe, I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say. Please know that I will do my best to find Mike and bring him home as soon as possible. Please, please know how sorry I am.” She spoke softly to the young widow wrapped in her arms, crying. Nic started to rock back and forth and softly pleaded with Claire to try to relax.

  “Major, I’m not sure I can handle this anymore. I have lost my husband and now you tell me you have lost his body. I’m not sure I can take much more without losing it.” She wept, still clutching Nic’s BDUs tightly.

  “I am so sorry. Please know how sorry I am for having to put you through this.”

  “Major, I know this isn’t your fault, I understand that, but god, how could the Corps lose his body? How could they do this to my family and me? Haven’t we been through enough already?” Claire asked, her body language suggesting that the question was rhetorical.

  Nic knew she wouldn’t be able to get those answers, at least not tonight. She settled back as Claire wept harder and pressed against her, looking for comfort, the kind that comes from being held by another person. Nic didn’t say anything. At this point, everything seemed so trite.

  Nic rested her head on Claire’s, feeling her body shake as she started to sob uncontrollably again. Nic could smell her perfume and lilac shampoo. It had been a long time since she held someone like this and the sensation wasn’t at all an unwelcome one. However, this definitely wasn’t in the protocol description when she went to do an inform. All I’m doing is offering a shoulder for her to cry on, Nic told herself.

  Slowly, Nic felt Claire’s breathing start to come under control and she felt Claire back away. She put her hands on Claire’s shoulders to try to create some distance between them.

  “Are you all right now? Is there anything I can get you?”

  “Yes, Major. There are a couple of things you can do for me. First, please stop calling me Mrs. Monroe. That is my mother-in-law. Second, would you mind informing everyone out there that they can go home and I will see them tomorrow. I’m beat and I don’t think I can make polite conversation anymore,” Claire said as she laid down on the bed, curling up into a semi-fetal position.

  “Of course Mrs. Monroe. I mean, Claire. I’ll be happy to ask everyone to leave but I am not at liberty to discuss what you and I have talked about. So if you want them to know you will have to tell them, okay?”

  “Fine Major,” said Claire, curling into a ball in the middle of the huge bed.

  “Mrs.—Claire, will you do me a favor?”

  “Yes Major.”

  “If I must call you by your first name, you must do the same. Pease call me Nic.”

  “Thank you Nic,” Claire said quietly, still curled in on herself.

  “Of course.”

  Walking down the hall Nic could hear the wives talking about Claire and how strong she was as she faced this unbelievable loss. Each one acknowledged that they too would be devastated if faced with a similar situation. In the military, it was a daily battle to stay positive with a loved one in a combat zone. When Nic entered the living room all eyes shifted to her, each with a question or a demand for answers. Nic calmly informed the group that Claire had requested that they all go home and get some rest, and told them that Claire wanted to thank them for their support and she would see them in the morning. When the last wife left, Nic leaned against the door and let out a long sigh, glad she wasn’t obligated to inform the wives of the most recent development.

  She headed for the master bedroom to let Claire know that the wives had left and that she, too, was leaving. She started to open the door and had just barely caught a glimpse of Claire sleeping when she heard a soft cry from the bedroom behind her. Nic looked over her shoulder at Grace’s room and wondered if she should wake Claire, but quickly changed her mind when she heard Claire release a soft snore. Maybe I can rock Grace back to sleep and then leave and no one will be the wiser. Besides, Claire needs to sleep. Turning, Nic went into Grace’s room and found her sitting up in her bed.

  “Hey little one. What are you doing up?” Reaching down, she picked up the child. All at once the little girl latched on to her neck and laid her head down on Nic’s broad shoulder. Must be the uniform, she thought as she slowly rocked the child back and forth. Grace settled down almost immediately, but each time Nic tried to put the little girl down she began to fuss. Spying the rocker, Nic sat down and slowly started to rock Claire’s daughter back to sleep.

  So, this is what it would feel like to have a kid. Rocking, she started to feel herself nod off when her phone rang.

  “Major, are you all right? Should I call the Chaplain and have him come out to meet you?” asked Sergeant Ross.

  “Sergeant, I am fine but you just woke up the baby.”

  “Excuse me, Major?”

  “Oh, never mind. I’m fine. Go home and get some rest. We’ll start again in the morning. And Sergeant, not a word of this to anyone, understand?”

  “Understood Major, but I have no idea what you are talking about, believe me.”

  “Good. Now go home to your wife, kiss her and be thankful for what you have, soldier.”

  Nic began the process of rocking the little girl back to sleep again. She looked down to find Grace looking up at her with the bluest eyes she had ever seen.

  “Hmm, whose eyes do you have princess? You’re a little cutie, aren’t you? I bet you are your momma’s pride and joy, huh?”

  As she kept rocking, she slowly started to nod off herself. She never let go of the little bundle laying there in her arms.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  When Claire woke-up she realized that Grace had slept the whole night through. She must have been exhausted. Poor little bugger has no way of letting all of that stress out. Looking down she noticed that she still wore her clothes from last night. Claire thought about the events from the night before. How could they lose Mike’s body? She wished it had all been a bad dream but it wasn’t. She wouldn’t be able to get through everything until they found Mike and right now she needed a friend. She needed to talk to someone and there was only one person she could count on to be there for her. Claire and Jordan had been best friends all through college and she knew all Claire’s secrets. Claire had called her when she got the news of Mike’s death, and although she hated to burden those she cared about with her own troubles, the loss of Mike’s body was more than she could bear alone right now.

  She picked up the phone and dialed the number she knew by heart. Claire took a deep breath and tried to relax as much as she could while she waited for Jordan to answer.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey Jordan.”

  “Claire? What’s wrong, honey?” Jordan asked. “Is everything alright?”

  Claire hesitated for a moment and then revealed what had happened. Claire began to cry as she explained what little she knew about the military’s loss of Mike’s body.

  “Honey, do you need me to come out right now?”

  “No,” Claire said, sucking in a stuttered breath, “I don’t know how long it will take for them to find Mike, and Nic, I mean Major Caldwell, said she would call as soon as she heard something.”

  “Nic? Who’s Nic, honey?”

  “She’s the officer assigned to help us with the military process when someone loses a loved one
. She’s been making sure that everything moves smoothly as we work through Mike’s funeral and stuff.”

  “I see. Well at least the military is helping you with all of this, since it is their fault Mike is missing.”

  “Look Jor, I need to get off the phone and shower before Grace wakes up. As soon as I find anything out I’ll call. Okay?”

  Jordan made Claire promise that she would call as soon as Claire found anything out, no matter what time it was.

  Setting the phone down Claire buried her face in her hands and wept silently. She had hoped speaking to Jordan would help, but it didn’t. How much more would she have to endure? Mike’s parents would be devastated when she told them the news. She would wait on that phone call because she knew Mike’s mom would start calling congressmen, senators and anyone else who would listen. Mike’s mom meant well, but she lacked the patience to wait for things to happen, though this time Claire couldn’t blame her. She decided a hot shower could come before that call.

  After her shower, Claire studied her reflection in the mirror. She appeared tired and the vacant stare that looked back at her shocked her. She hadn’t looked this bad since high school when she had to face who she really was. Her father had put her through hell and she hadn’t handled the stress well. Now wasn’t the time to think about that again. No, she needed to focus on Grace and taking care of Mike’s affairs. Then she would focus on the future.

  Walking to Grace’s room, she stretched and shook off the last vestiges of sleep before opening the bedroom door. She needed to be ready for a rambunctious three year old who wouldn’t understand that her world had just been turned upside down. Claire wasn’t ready for the sight before her as she entered her daughter’s room. Claire stood in the doorway, transfixed by the site of Nic and Grace together. Her momentary shock at seeing them together faded as she took in the whole scene. She hadn’t noticed before, but now that she could look at Nic openly, she found her striking, almost handsome. Her soft brown hair had come loose while she slept and framed her face, softening her features. Claire studied Nic’s face and admired her square jaw, thinking that it made her feminine face look strong and intense. Claire continued her assessment and stared at Nic’s lips, wondering how soft they were and if they were firm when kissed, or slack and limp, which she hated. Claire’s fingers caressed her own lips as she thought about what it would be like to kiss Nic. God what am I doing? Claire thought as she took a deep breath to center herself.